The Art of Letting Go (Utne Reader no. 92)

Forgiveness deeply offends the rational mind. No reason why from our own pain and darkness, we should summon feelings of compassion and insight for that person, as well as for ourselves. …
And there is certainly no easy way to put forgiveness into practice. p. 47

Simply contemplating the act of forgiveness may bring us closer to a person, to events, or to our own most painful and vulnerable feelings than we want to be.
It may be by giving up while not surrendering that you catch your first glimpse of freedom.
You do it by abandoning that person to fate, and abandoning the desire to affect that fate.
And it assumes that the acts for which we are trying to find forgiveness belong securely in the past. p. 48

To forgive may be an act of supreme love and gentleness, but it is also tough.. It demands that at least one party face the truth – and learn something of value from it.
It does not involve condoning, trivializing, minimizing, excusing, ignoring, or pretending to forget what has been done (to betray or breach trust).
it does not withdraw blame. Yet it may ask you to be careful how you apportion blame, whether you absent yourself from events or remain present.
Offering our forgiveness or allowing forgiveness to arise restores us to something that is always within us but from which we have become unbound: a sense of unity expressed through the qualities of trust, faith, hope, and love. p. 49